'No Coincidence' Mentality: The Mindset That Will Give You Power and Set You Free
In a world increasingly engineered to numb us out, to strip away opportunities for genuine presence, connection, and aliveness, how do we reclaim our power?
How do we break free from the ‘kind-of’-connections and the sedentary traps of modern life? I believe answer lies in a mindset - a way of seeing the world that transforms us from passive consumers into active creators: I call it ‘No Coincidence’ mentality.
Look around. The Western world grapples with a health crisis, a testament to how effectively we’ve designed physical effort out of our daily existence. Simultaneously, an epidemic of loneliness reminds us that our 'streamlined' connections have become superficial, a pale imitation of true human bond.
We're living in an age devoid of the very things that make us feel truly alive.
But what if this isn't just happening to us? What if the choices we make, the actions we take, or indeed, fail to take, are not mere coincidences in the grand scheme of our well-being? What if we’re more accountable than we think?
This is the essence of the ‘No Coincidences’. I think of it as a radical acceptance that our current state – whether physical, mental, or social – is a direct, undeniable consequence of our inputs.
This isn't about blame; it's about empowerment.
It's about recognising that if you're feeling sluggish, disconnected, or unfulfilled, it's not a random occurrence. It's the inevitable outcome of a lifestyle that prioritises passive consumption over active doing. It's the result of avoiding discomfort, rather than embracing it. It's the byproduct of settling for ease and comfort instead of cultivating real craftsmanship in your life, whether that's through your body, your work, or your relationships.
We’ve had a lot of incredible sunsets these last few weeks. Rude not to share!
Embracing a new mentality compels you to ask: What am I doing, or not doing, that is leading me here?
What I am putting into my body? How am I moving? Who am I keeping around me?
It shifts your focus from external circumstances to internal agency. It means:
More active doing, less passive consuming. Ditch the endless scroll and get moving. Better yet, do it with friends (although a solo walk without tech to clear your head is magical). Build genuine connection through shared, effortful and creative activity (exercise, board games, exploring outdoors). Because when you’re pushing yourself physically or mentally, side-by-side with others, that's where true connection flourishes. That's no coincidence.
Train for something. Embrace discomfort. Our bodies are designed for movement, for challenge. If you're not training for something – be it a personal best, a new skill, or simply robust health in general – you're allowing difficult physical activity to be engineered out of your life. Your brain tricks you into believing this could be a good thing - ‘no hard exercise ever again if I don’t want to!’ Discomfort isn’t the enemy; it’s where strength, resilience, and ultimately ‘happiness’ is nurtured. That's no coincidence.
Create something real. Be a craftsperson. In a world of instant gratification and superficiality, become a creator (not an influencer ideally). Whether it’s a tangible object, a skill, or a meaningful relationship, invest your time and energy into building something authentic. I create this newsletter. It feeds my soul. The satisfaction we get from true craftsmanship is a powerful antidote to the feeling numbness we have when we lack it. That's no coincidence.
Practice noticing your internal state. Are you genuinely connected to yourself, or are you perpetually distracted? My ‘No Coincidence’ mentality involves pausing, observing, and understanding your internal landscape. Sometimes it’s just taking a minute or two for some deep breaths. Or 5-10 minutes stretching before bed. This self-awareness is the foundation for conscious action. That's no coincidence.
Prioritise your basic psychological needs. Autonomy, competence, and relationships are not optional extras; they are fundamental drivers of human well-being. If you're neglecting these, don't be surprised when you feel a sense of void. Actively seek out opportunities to feel purpose and control of your life, to master skills, and to genuinely connect with others - the sheer act alone gives you ‘the feeling’ back, because it is deliberate. No coincidence.
Now I know a mindset like this can feel like a harsh judgment (especially if put more bluntly to yourself or others), but honestly, it all comes from a necessary place in aid of the right cause - growth; it's a powerful invitation. An invitation to take ownership, to understand the direct link between your actions and your outcomes (yes, there is still so much out of our control!).
This open and honest mindset that will strip away the illusion of randomness and hand you back the reins to your own life.
It’s the key to unlocking your power and setting yourself truly free.
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